What will you do if you find out a man you have been dating for four years is married with two children? - LIB reader needs your help!

A LIB reader sent this in... read below and share your thoughts

My heart bleeds as I write this...

I met this guy when I was in my final year in school. I was 21 then and he was 32  . We met when I was on break and I was doing some part time job.He asked me out and after some few weeks I accepted. I was beginning to like him because he looks cools and intelligent and was actually what I needed in a man. So we started dating. We are based in lagos but I schooled in the east. He works at Victoria island with a real estate company as a business developer for two years now, has his own car,doing quite well for himself so I thought he lives alone cuz I stay on the mainland and he stays at Opic after Berger. Because his place is quite far from where I stay on the mainland, so we usually meet at Ikeja which was a central place. All through the first year of we started dating we never had sex cuz I wasn't ready and wanted to finish my education before I start indulging in sex and get ready for a serious relationship because I was a virgin. He doesnt give me much money and we dont really go to fantastic places cuz he usually complains he doesnt have much money and he is on loan and all. I didnt want to leave him cuz of money.I wanted to stick with him till he makes it I thought. I brought him once to see my mum but my mum doesnt really like him. I thought its because of his tribe bcuz he is yoruba and I am igbo. So we started a very serious r/ship when I finished school. When we go hang out I meet his friends who are also yoruba. when we go make out, we go to guest houses cuz his place is far and he usually complains he doesnt like traffic cuz his place is far. I am a decent girl and from a responsible home so I dont sleep out, I dont club and I dont keep much friends either. I speak and chat with this guy every day of my life for four good years. He was like my best friend and is the first person to know anything I do. We chat late in the night but I notice most times he goes to bed by 10pm giving excuse that he has to go to work the following day. I never knew its cuz his wife is a nursing mother and they dont sleep in the same room.

So while I was doing my service in 2016, I eventually got pregnant for him. we agreed to remove it cuz we weren't ready for marriage yet and he said when I get a good job, we would start planning towards marriage. Most times I call him around 7pm to know if he has left work but he doesnt pick giving me excuses that his colleagues were in his car and he was driving. I never knew his so called colleague is his wife who also work on the island and they come back home together. Most times I want him to take me to his house, but he tells me he cant bcuz his cousin usually stays with him and his parents usually come around cuz he is the only son and his other sisters are married and he also told himself he wouldnt bring any woman home till he is ready for marriage bcuz of his bad experience with his ex in the past, this was his excuse to me not coming to his house. I would I know they were all lies bcuz I was inexperience and innocent. Maybe I dint really pay too much attention cuz I wasnt ready for marriage then. I noticed there has been stagnancy in the r/ship so I told myself this year I would break up with him if he is not talking marriage bcuz I would be clocking 25 this year. And I was hoping I get a good job also bcuz he always says he wont marry a woman with no job and I also dont like being dependent on a man. 

To cut the long story short, we quarreled about him not making out time for me for valentine. His excuse was that he went for a meeting after work and there was terrible traffic till late at night. We had a serious fight so he told me to return the iphone 4 he gave me to use temporarily cuz my phone was faulty and he claimed the phone belongs to his dad. So I decided to pay him a surprise visit on sunday after church to return his so called dad phone or to settle our quarrel bcuz I have only been to his house about five times. I knocked and could hear him shouting who is it, but I dint answer so he opened the door, immediately he saw me he shut the door, I knocked again, and he came out and closed the door telling me to come down stairs with him. I was eager to meet his cousin he has been telling me he stays with. So when I went in, I saw a boy about 5 yrs lying down on the coach and what they use in carrying new born baby. I thought its his sister son bcuz he always talk about his sister. Lo and behold, a woman came from the bedroom, I asked if she is Olamide's sister she said no, his wife. I was shocked. I walked up to her and told her everything, she couldnt believe it. Meanwhile the idiot was still downstairs waiting for me. He came and met his wife and I talking in her room he showed me was his cousin room. He dragged me out of his house, his compound and onto the street, shouting security and threatening to call police for me. I have never been humiliated like that before in my entire life. I was shocked.Up till now it still looks like a dream to me. Some how the wife got my number and called me and we spoke at length. I told her everything. she told me shes a workaholic and travels out a lot. And those times he brought me to his house, was probably when she traveled out. We didnt even know we made out in his matrimonial bed. she said she never checked his phone cuz she trusted him. We are both in shock.Everything this guy has ever told me has been all lies. The wife told me to send her pictures of us cuz she needs an evidence, which I have done and she is holding herself from going violent on him.  I cant believe this is happening to me. What did I do to deserve this? A man I have been so faithful and loyal to. Men are wicked o. This life is cruel.

Olamide you will suffer for this pain and agony you put me through. You will die a painful death till I have the heart to forgive. I curse you today and forevermore.

I haven't decided yet on what to do to him. As for his picture and where he works I wilI review it when am ready. I will be in the comment section.

credit: Linda Ikeji's Blog http://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2018/2/what-will-you-do-if-you-find-out-a-man-you-have-been-dating-for-four-years-is-married-with-two-children-lib-reader-needs-your-help.html